Posts tagged No Limit Hold Em

Latin Ballroom or Pass the Trash

I’ve been mar­ried for 10 years, have 2 kids and almost no time to myself. If you count my inter­net porn babes as com­pany, then I do in fact have no time to myself. When I get a call to join a neighbor’s home game on a ran­dom Wednes­day night, I think to myself, “What would I rather do? Watch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance with my wife, or hang out with the guys smok­ing pot, telling lies and act­ing like a 15 year old.” Hmmmmmmmmm

I arrive at the game a bit giddy. This night is going to be fun. Buy in is $80 and it’s dealer’s choice. Every­one hates NLH at home games. It’s too slow, too restrictive…requires too much tal­ent! I know this going in. We are going to play games that are just a hair above roulette in skill level. Shit, I was going to be watch­ing Tiffany and Raj do the Latin Ball­room, even if I lose $80 at stu­pid games of chance, I’m a win­ner. I’ll gladly play 3 hours of “Pass The Trash” if I can escape the suf­fer­ing of a round of com­ments from the faggy danc­ing judges about how much Raj extended his arms dur­ing the pirou­ettes. Not that I have a prob­lem with gay or danc­ing. But really? Is this even a contest?

Tonight I am catch­ing bad cards. Cou­ple that with miss­ing some of the “sub­tleties” of Pass the Trash and I am thru my first buy in. It’s only 8:30. Raj is still doing pirou­ettes. RE-BUY!

At 9:07, my sec­ond buy-in is gone. Raj or chips? Raj or chips? Raj or chips? It’s a tough one, but at this point I need to acknowl­edge the grace and beauty of Raj’s danc­ing. He actu­ally does have a place in my life. When all the money is gone and there is absolutely noth­ing left to do, Raj is the answer.

I come home. My wife remarks that I am home early. Bad night. I take my place on the couch and man­age to show some enthu­si­asm when I ask, “Hey did I miss Raj and Tiffany?” “Nope“‘ she says, “just in time.” I force a smile and say, “Great! Can’t wait to see them really nail this Latin Ball­room.”

Some­times I play poker to post­pone the inevitable.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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Replay Hand — Curse and Blessing

Man, you should play online. If you don’t play like a dick, you can win some cash. I turned $50 into $1500.” This is my uncle talk­ing. He’s a retired hippy from the 60s. Now he’s a tat­tooed poker player who tells every­one at the casino that his nephew, that’s me, likes to pack fudge. If I hear him say this, my retort is that I only do it with him when he begs for it. But I digress. I took his advice about online poker and haven’t looked back since.

He was kinda right. I turned $50 into $600 in losses. Then I made some changes to my game and now I am a win­ning (only by a bit!) online poker player. Here’s how it went down.

I put $50 into a Full Tilt account and played $1 sit n gos. They were ridicu­lous because no one cared about the money. So I decided to go big, to the tables where my bets would be respected. That’s right, the $5 sit n gos. I have to admit, even at those low stakes my heart would pump like mad. I play for higher stakes in live games, but this just felt different.

It’s so easy to press the all in but­ton. If you win, you can jump up and down and cel­e­brate. If you lose, you can curse the screen and throw your mouse across the room. Bet­ter than that, there is no walk of shame. No awk­ward moments when you avoid eye con­tact with the play­ers after a mis­er­able defeat. No insin­cere, “nice hand”. You can click your­self off that table with those fuck­ers and click right into another game.

Need­less to say the $50 went fast. But I was really get­ting off. Peo­ple say online poker is rigged. Some­times the beats are so unreal, I want to place the blame on some­thing out of my con­trol. Shit, it couldn’t my sucky play! More often than not, I made some fun­da­men­tal error that put me in a bad spot. I know this because I am a big fan of the replay hand but­ton. Watch­ing me be a don­key, over and over again, as I replay hands hurts me ego in a big way, but it sure doesn’t hurt my game.

I play poker because I love learn­ing and study­ing. Other than my fam­ily, noth­ing teaches me more about myself than poker. It forces me to stare in the mir­ror and ask, “Who’s the bitch now?”

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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I just read a new poker book. I’m bracing myself for the inevitable losing streak.

I know that’s it’s not sup­posed to work that way.  I would pre­fer to be able to read a poker book, prefer­able just the back blurb, and go on some end­less win­ning streak.  All of the game’s mys­ter­ies unlocked in one key para­graph. For about an hour’s worth of leisurely read­ing I think its only fair that I become invin­ci­ble. I would like to sit down at the poker table and announce, “I want you to know I’ve skimmed through some of the Har­ring­ton books, please give me the con­tents of your wallets.”

It def­i­nitely doesn’t work that way for me.  Actu­ally, it means the exact oppo­site. Fin­ish­ing a poker book kicks off a three week los­ing streak.

Even with that knowl­edge, I still love a new poker book.  Sure, most of them say pretty much the same stuff, but every once in a while some­one really changes the way you look at the game.  Or at least, one aspect of it. Like three-betting an under the gun raiser.

So what do I do?  I work the price of the los­ing streak into the cost of the book. It’s an edu­ca­tion I believe is worth pay­ing for.  The whole point is to get bet­ter, right?  If I’m going to keep play­ing the same mediocre game I should just get out of my seat and stop play­ing now.  You have to get bet­ter.  And I do.  Slowly.

I play poker to get bet­ter.  To pos­si­bly some­day rule the table regard­less of stakes.

Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net

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