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Winning Poker Formula:Play Against the Weak. Losing Poker Formula:Play Against the Strong
Feb 5th
I’ll just come out and say it: I play poker to win money.
Just like any other poker player, I will take money from my friends, my enemies, my neighbor, the fathers of my son’s pre-school friends and even my wife. Hell, if my grandmother would sit down with me I would try my darnedest to take her money as well.
In order to win more money at poker, I have done what any true poker player does: study.
I study a lot.
I buy the books: Sit ‘n Go Strategy, Harrington on Hold ‘em, Online Ace, etc. I underline important parts, take notes and implement the techniques.
I take internet courses: Deepstacks University, the online interactive course endorsed by Mike “The Mouth” Matusow. (great site by the way!)
I have discussions with fellow poker players about strategy, odds, etc.
You’d think with all this diligent work my results would be better. Online I am a break even player. Home games:winner. Casino games: loser. To be honest, I am an overall loser in poker. Not huge numbers, but enough to irk me. Make me want to crack the nut.
After all this studying, practicing and playing, I have come to realize there is only one REAL winning formula for poker: Play against players that are worse than you are. Sounds simple, but it’s true. This is a predatory sport and the strong feast on the weak.
You want to beat the game, look for the table full of losers.
Top 10 Traits of a Losing Poker Player:
10. He has a short stack. A good player knows that to win, his stack has to be replenished. Otherwise he’s not playing poker. It’s called playing bingo.
9. A big talker, giving lessons = BIG LOSER.
8. Looks like he’s been up all night. Probably trying to get even. Winners go home when they are losing and cut their losses.
7. Complains about back beats.
6. Goes to the ATM. Definitely means he is going beyond his intended budget and probably not using good bankroll management.
5. Plays almost every hand: loser
4. Tries to verbally intimidate the other players. LOSER!
3. Talks about how much he won last night. LOOOOOOO-SER!
2. Throws his cards at the dealer.
1. Makes quick over-sized bets.
I am probably not telling you anything new. But how many of us truly abide by these rules. It ain’t rocket science, but it works. In fact, it works way better than reading, studying or talking about poker. To paraphrase Texas Dolly: Poker is a game of people played with cards.
I play poker to win money from the weak.
Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net
Poker Optimism — Number 1 Sign of a Losing Poker Player
Jan 31st
Everyone loves an optimist. Their enthusiasm is contagious. They’re go-getters.
You know what? I’ve had an assload of optimists lately. And truthfully, the only place I want to see them is at the poker tables. Preferably, with their optimistic fucking mouths shut.
Here’s why? They’ll optimistically go to the ATM machine way more times than they’ll make that miracle one –outer.
If it’s so easy, then why do I sound so mad? Thanks for asking. I get tired of hearing how optimism and enthusiasm are the be all end all of everything. Everyone thinks those qualities are great. What about their cousins greed and self-delusion? Well, they’re connected. Alan Schoonmaker, Ph.D, put it best in his book, “Your Worst Poker Enemy”- “Destructive emotion #1: Hope”
Here’s the big secret. Poker is really about things not happening. Top pair on the flop usually holds up. Make all the optimists pay dearly for their sunny outlooks.
Don’t get me wrong, I have my optimistic moments. I’m basically a long term optimist, short term pessimist. Both in poker and in life.
I play poker to watch the optimists drown in their own hope.
Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net
Like Dexter, I also have a “Dark Passenger.”
Jan 25th
“I’m all in!”
“I call!”
He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in disgust. It’s not that I got outplayed. That doesn’t piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark passenger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It’s like I am two people. On the one hand, I am a responsible father and husband. Patient, creative and frugal. On the other hand, I am an aggressive poker player — impatient, impulsive and sometimes reckless.
Okay, maybe my comparison to Dexter is an exaggeration. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.
I have the same conversation every time I go to the casino. “Today I am going to play tight. No fishing. Only play position. Fold draws when I don’t have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don’t go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most importantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!” I look in the mirror. Remind myself that I am in control.
Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christmas present. 2 minutes later, all my chips are in the middle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and convince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 seconds later.….I am on tilt, calling for chips and ready to gamble. Just like that, enter my dark passenger. It doesn’t take long until, I have lost my second buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and realize I have been here for only 75 minutes. Luckily the wallpaper on my iPhone is a picture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail disappears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.
I am always surprised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grateful for him as well. I use him as a measure for my personal growth. The day I can take a beating and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of consciousness. It may sound a bit metaphysical, but that’s one of the reasons I play poker.
Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net
Sometimes I need a break from Dockers and fat free salad dressing.
Jan 22nd
A man can not be sustained on good, wholesome family life alone. Or, at least, I can’t. On a regular basis I like to head to my local casino, Hollywood Park. It’s not just for the poker either. The place is a real melting pot and I get to rub elbows with people from walks of life I may never have the chance to otherwise.
I know a lot of people that are alarmingly similar. CPAs, dentists, and an assload of regional managers. As you might guess, this gets boring. The casino, on the other hand, is full of characters that you would probably would never meet anywhere but the casino.
I love it.
Playing with people from all walks of life is what makes poker great. I can’t think of a better common denominator. I learn more about humanity at the table than I would at a lifetime of Neighborhood Watch meetings. Okay fine, I don’t go to Neighborhood Watch meetings. That’s what regional managers are for. Where else can I hear from an ex-gangleader the way to make money is buying foreclosed homes from HUD, Housing Urban Development or something like that. Dude was a millionaire. Or maybe he was lying. Either way I don’t care. I’m definitely not going to meet the rock tight porn director at one of these sushi rolling parties my wife tells me we’ve been invited to. Actually maybe I would. But at the sushi party he’s not going into the details of the girl on girl scene gone bad because one of the actresses had some bad ceviche for lunch.
I play poker to meet people I normally wouldn’t.
Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net
Poker is a dream maker
Jan 20th
At some point in your life, you have to let go of some of your childhood dreams. Still 5 foot 3? You can put your NBA dreams to rest. Still playing pony league in your 20s? Probably won’t go to the MLB. Fail your medical boards for the 5th time? Surgery career out the door. Don’t get me wrong. I am fan of “anything is possible”. I’m a poker player, right? But let’s get real, sometimes you can tell things will never happen.
For me, I had a pretty good run as an independent musical artist. I played for some pretty large crowds, basked in the glory of the standing ovation and heard my music on TV, film and radio. However, when I turned 30, I could see the writing on the wall. I was never going to be a rock star. 10 years later, the only thing I miss is having that dream of being a star. Enter poker.
Poker is the dream that never dies. It doesn’t even discriminate. There are sharks of all ages sizes and shapes. 90 year old rocks, wheel chair bound chip slingers, and even the occasional blind man with a seeing eye sweater. You try walking into the Super Bowl all suited up demanding your shot. It’s not going to happen. But if you have $10,000 or were lucky enough to suck out on me in one of the bajillion satellites I played to get into the WSOP, all the power to you. You’re in and get your chance to join the elite ranks of the poker greats. What’s even more enticing is that the vast majority of WSOP bracelets are won by unknown players. It’s like Rocky every summer in Vegas.
Most of us will never bat against C.C. Sabathia or catch a pass from Brette Favre. But for the rest of our lives, poker players will have a chance to feel like a pro. If you’re ballsy (and rich), I’m sure a variety of pros from Doyle to Durr would be happy to meet you at Bobby’s room. Probably at this very moment. Who knows, you might even beat them in a pot. If that’s bigger than your poker budget, you can go for the glory by chasing a bracelet. It’s a more affordable way to get the rush of playing with the pros. And if that isn’t enough, remember you always have a chance to be the “lucky bastard” to put Phil Hellmuth on tilt. Poker is truly a dream maker.
I play to keep the big dream alive.
Why do you play? Let me know at stories@whydoiplaypoker.net
For more about making it big in poker read the following article:
http://www.pokerdownloadlink.com/how-to-win-at-poker/
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